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I was thinking 'animal',
he was able to define it
better than I.
He would not touch the water
that came reaching
with rough hands-
instead, he reached
his two-year-old hand
to mine.
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I've read this poem quite a few times over the past couple of days. I really like the idea of it...and the imagery of it. I feel a connection to this poem, because I know the ocean that you speak of very well.
I have a tiny nit-pick. I keep stumbling on the comma after "animal" and before "he." I feel that they are two seperate sentences...or rather the pause there should be longer...more drawn out. Perhaps even a semi colon would work better.
This paints such a perfect picture of the scene. It's so simply put but very very effective. Children do have a funny way of finding the right words while we're still struggling.
