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Evil Potty
Evil Potty
Convenience is the poltergeist
In my toilet
Boil, boil, tremble, and toil
The cauldron erupts
Bacteria spring from their caustic prison
To finely grouted ceramic tile
A squeegee shepherds them home
With stray hairs, dust mites, and the itty bits of yesterday’s grits
Plumbers’ bottoms never appealed so much
As this day—the day of my meltdown
I staple my forehead then spin round the room
Collage
Eclipse
The bomb is lit
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Comment by: waxseal - 2008-03-18 09:31
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Hello! I finally found you .. ..I had a hard time. I liked this is! (i'm adding you as a reader even though we're next door to each other :-)
The only thing that threw me off was Collage -when I first read it I felt it should read collapse - but that's just me man :-) |
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The title reminded me of when I was very little and first being potty trained, I got myself stuck in the toilet, and was scared to death of it for sometime afterwards.
"Boil, boil, tremble, and toil" this line sort of reminds me of "double double toil and trouble". The similarity makes this line stand out, and a little playfully, which is a stark contrast to the sheer vividness of the following lines, "The cauldron erupts
Bacteria spring from their caustic prison
To finely grouted ceramic tile". Even if this contrast wasn't purposeful, it gives the writing a bit of flare.
The ending is masterfully done as well. "The day of meltdown" line brings the reader outside of the bathroom and into the meltdown of every day life. Compiled with the images before it, I could feel the stress of the speaker.
Enjoyable write overall. |
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