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RobertRich
Robert Rich
United States, TX, Austin

Words: 75
Access: Public
Comments: 1

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In The Frame

When he’s focused, Noah can see the frame perfectly. Now, sitting atop the building, resisting the urge to push Stephen over the edge and watch him free-fall twenty stories, he’s locked in.

“Dude, what do you think, do you see it?” It’s the fifth time Stephen has asked, and for the fifth time Noah doesn’t answer.

Finally, the target arrives, and moves toward the frame. Noah lifts the gun and waits.

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Comments  
dmiracle Comment by: dmiracle - 2008-02-29 22:38
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Dude, your story is late. Besides that you need a change from beginning to the end. This story starts in the same place it ends, nothing has happened to the characters. Make every sentence force the next action. Leave no choice. Push Stephen off the roof.
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By RobertRich

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