writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
Mikey220
Michael Boire
Canada

Words: 131
Access: Public
Comments: 2

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Winter Solace

When the chaos crumbled into calm,
I grabbed her arm in the cold mist.
Sweat dripping from my palm,
And the cries of the night were silenced.

"This isn't fair, this isn't right!"
I screamed as my clutch got tighter.
"I thought we agreed on this. Why do you fight?"
She replied as the tears in her eyes grew brighter.

The lamppost light shimmered in an unusual fashion,
As it's rays focused on her beauty.
My soul was suddenly overcome with passion,
But perhaps this separation was my duty.

I then realized what I had just lost,
While my hands bled from the shards of my shattered heart.
And now I stand here alone in the frost,
Understanding for certain that we are apart.

Want to comment on this Poetry?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Poetry and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-03-01 08:57
Add to Readers
      
Hi Michael. Another good poem. Lots of feeling. Your rhyme scheme is great except for the first stanza, line 2 and 4. Second stanza, line 3, you could drop the words "on this" to help the rhythm a bit. And the 4th line might read better, "She tearfully cried, her eyes growing brighter." Good work. Janet
poetguyraza Comment by: poetguyraza - 2008-03-01 00:03
Add to Readers
      
This is a very romantic piece but the end is quite sudden. I think you should try to add one more stanza in this.. Otherwise amazingly done..
1

Sponsored Ads


By Mikey220

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S