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frees340
Vyasar Ganesan
United States, TX, Austin

Words: 173
Access: Public
Comments: 11

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Wee Challenge 28: The Shadows

The shadows merged and met. A mess of light’s absence, they stuck together, knotting a net of darkness. More and more came, joining the ominous throng, and soon a conclave was held.

Some opted for blood, others for souls, and all for chaos. Silent cries erupted on all sides, pushing for a referendum. They knew a war was coming, unstoppable and all-consuming. It was time to decide.

Slowly, they spun, around some invisible, hellish axis. At the center, a spot of pure midnight appeared. As the shadows gathered in towards it, it became a rising mound.

Soon, no shadows were left. A dark figure had taken their place. A deathly inkiness cloaked his details. All the light could show were the sharp curves of his muscle.

He ignored the burned-out shells of some once-great structure, ashen heaps, and broken bones sparsely peppering the ground. He could see in the distance, a pillar of light revolving quickly, drawing firelight, sunbeams, and hope to its core. There, he knew, the enemy would be found.

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Comments  
karjon Comment by: karjon - 2008-03-31 05:12
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Oh, I was sure I had commented on this one - I certainly remember reading it.

A very atmospherc piece, Vyasar - lots of great descriptions of darkness. Definitely a fantasy feel to it - and such a lot crammed into the word count. Well done.

Thanks for the read.

Cheers

Karen
Juan2 Comment by: Juan2 Online- 2008-03-08 17:13
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Very cool fantasy sorta write - like Fantasia gone wrong. Easy to visualize and has a wicked, surreal quality to it. That last paragraph is my favorite, so desolate. Bad times are a'comin'

happy writings.
Fireballems Comment by: Fireballems - 2008-03-08 11:53
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nice imagery. I would make what the end creature is more concrete though.
vlclasby Comment by: vlclasby - 2008-03-06 20:58
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Amazing imagery.

My only small suggestion is where you say, "Soon, no shadows were left. A dark figure had taken their place. Shadows cloaked his details." Since no shadows were left, maybe 'darkness' or 'blackness' cloaked his details."

Sorry, one more. I would change 'mess' to 'mass.' But that's just me.

Very unsettling read. Great job!
Stratus Comment by: Stratus - 2008-03-06 07:15
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Not a bad read. Made you think. Had a surreal feel to it, an abstract fusing of a concrete scene.
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