 |
 |
 |
| |
Story Challenge #28 - Reprieve
The shadows merged and spat a wad of darkness into the room. Sam scrabbled backwards across the floor, cursing as her back hit the wall. Throwing frantic glances in all directions, her eyes searched for a weapon as she tried to avoid eye contact with the thing. Advancing toward her, its sizzling footprints scorched the bare wooden boards. Unable to stop herself, she met its fiery gaze, seeing nothing but total apathy in the depths of the burning eyes.
“Samantha Rose Peterson”.
Its voice sounded like a roaring inferno. She screamed, pressing her hands against her ears. It repeated her name, intoning her fate slowly. She leapt to her feet, throwing herself across the room in a bid to escape the creature’s outstretched talons. Childish instincts took over, and Sam crawled behind her free-standing mirror for shelter.
An ear-splitting screech rocked the room. The smell of sulphur wafted around the mirror as the electric light flicked on. Sam gingerly peered into the room.
It was empty, except for a pair of smoking footprints.
Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-03-09 09:42
|
|
I love that first line - 'wad of darkness' - excellent.
So when it was confronted with its own image, it spontaneously combusted? Nice idea.
Thanks for the read, Icy - I enjoyed this one.
Cheers
Karen |
|
|
| Third awesome creepy story I've read tonight. Loved it. Really made my skin crawl. Great job! |
|
|
What a great build up and scary story. Loved 'spat a wad of darkness' and 'childish instict took over'. There was a bit of a fizzle though. After all that, 'Sam gingerly peered into the room' fell a bit flat. And what was that anyway?
A good read. |
|
|
In the first paragraph, the syntactical forms of the sentences are all the same. Start with action, then.... I'd change that up.
I like the stories vivid, intense imagery.
//The shadows merged and spat a wad of darkness into the room.
really like |
|
|
In the first paragraph, the syntactical forms of the sentences are all the same. Start with action, then.... I'd change that up.
I like the stories vivid, intense imagery.
//The shadows merged and spat a wad of darkness into the room.
really like |
| 1 2 Next |
|
 |
 |
 |
|
|