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frees340
Vyasar Ganesan
Online
United States, TX, Austin

Words: 171
Access: Public
Comments: 8

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Wee Challenge 28: Danny Stared at the Clock

Danny stared at the clock. Damn that clock. That ticking was murderous. Every time the hand jerked, Danny felt his world slip. He had to keep calm. This is no bomb. Just a little analog clock. No lives are at stake. This is a clock in a lobby.

The door opened. Danny stood. He walked past the clock. He half expected it to detonate. Mercifully, it didn’t.

Danny shook the man’s hand, scanning his desk. Some photos of his kids, his wife. No clocks. He sighed gratefully.

The interview rocked. Danny told some witty stories, and the guy laughed. When it was over, he walked Danny out of the office.

At the exit, the man extended his hand. Danny shook, but felt an extra weight. Glancing down, he saw a Rolex. It was moving to where all three hands would line up. Classic bomber timing.

Without thinking, Danny seized the watch and hurled it. He watched it sail through the air, shattering on the pavement, along with his future.

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Comments  
karjon Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-03-09 12:48
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Haha - yeah, I liked that - could just picture the interviewer's face as he watched his rolex shatter.

Very good - thanks for the read.

Cheers

Karen
Thula7 Comment by: Thula7 - 2008-03-06 14:22
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Funny. I believe the last line could be stronger. But as it is it doesn't kill your story, just doesn't enhance it. Good job with this one.

Thanks
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-03-05 21:30
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Poor Danny, he does have a problem. Nicely told story, Vyasar.
no crits.
A good read.
easywriter58 Comment by: easywriter58 - 2008-03-05 21:19
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Has Danny met Monk?

Tiny little sentences work for me here. I like the way things are simply told but have deep messages inside. This one did-what if he got the job and found out he had to market clocks for a living?

I think Danny watches too many crime thillers.
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-03-05 20:21
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Absolutely perfect. Just loved the ending. Janet
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