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Seeing Red
The teacher realized
what today's kids need are some
scarlet letters - F's.
He unsheathed his pen,
proceeding that same night to
draw blood while they slept.
He knew, the next day,
he had driven his point home
as said students wept.
Crimson doubt crept in
when later a colleague asked,
"Who is failing whom?"
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Clever stuff. I'm glad the teacher had the grace to feel shame at the end - I wish that happened more often. Too many kids have their lives pre-empted by poor teacher-motivation. (Did that make sense?)
Anyway, I like all the references to 'red', and the neatness of this one - no words wasted.
Great use of violent references, too: unsheathing, drawing blood while they slept and driving the point home.
It's true, the 5- and 7-syllable structure hasn't been followed through, but it's still a strong piece. |
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Comment by: waxseal - 2008-03-16 21:21
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| :-) Reading your stuff makes me smile - i'm sorry i've been a terrible reader and friend as of late - but I am still around and I'm VERY glad to see YOU are still around and writing really excellent stuff. I'll think twice before breaking out the red pen for the next batch of student papers. |
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Comment by: frees340 Online- 2008-03-14 21:55
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what today's kids need are a few
recount the syllables i think.
You didnt stick the rhyme scheme at the end, with the 2x 7s, but i doubt it matters.
I love it. As a student with close teacher relationships, I fully agree.
Vyasar |
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Comment by: mitra - 2008-03-13 02:36
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| Andy, a great message and put very strongly as it should be. Great writing. Bravo. :) |
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Comment by: Juan2 - 2008-03-10 22:50
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Hey there, I like this poem. It is clever and moral at once. Stanza 2 is my favorite, really powerful there with 'unsheathed' and 'draw blood.' Good stuff, and it brings up a valid question at the end.
happy writings. |
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