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lancslass
Anna Langton
United States, Colorado, Denver

Words: 175
Access: Public
Comments: 12

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Gymnasium Dreams Wee Challenge 28

Danny stared at the clock. Seconds dripped from its face, kept time, counted steps, counted reps. Self-conscious middle-aged men ran without enthusiasm. Bodies, comfortable in baggy shorts, loped along. Unfocused minds wandered. Danny yawned, pressed an electronic pad. The machine whirred and speeded up. Hamstrings nagged, pain shot through a kneecap. He pressed again. No sense hurting himself.

Double doors swung open. Indefatigable glutei maximi, Lycra blue, backed in. A callisthenic goddess, golden ponytail bouncing, breezed towards a treadmill. Mesmerized eyes followed. "My God!" Testosterone rose in the air. Minds focused. Shoulders squared, inspired muscles strained. Danny kicked the speed up again. Flabby faces reddened.

Toned legs stepped aboard a rubber road. What a six-pack. Danny's arms pumped, his legs flew, and he wished his six-pack wasn’t hidden in a cooler. She turned to him, smiled. He faltered, missed his step and scrambled ungainly. Don’t look down. Don’t sweat. Maybe sweat is good. Pain dropkicked his hamstrings. He grimaced, coughed for cover, and reduced speed. Who was he kidding?

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Comments  
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-06-02 12:18
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Ha, yes indeed, Leigh. Thanks for commenting. I've found these Wee Challenges a real, well, challenge and have learned a LOT from them. Thanks again for your kind words.
Anna
Leigh Comment by: Leigh - 2008-06-02 05:34
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I love the clipped, deadpan nature of flash fiction, and I really enjoyed this. Very funny and visual. I was sweating away with them there!

I could just picture the "callisthenic goddess" walking in and the men squaring their muscular shoulders and making the effort to look fit and as though they really are enjoying their workout. It's so easy to lose your concentration and footing on a treadmill!
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-04-02 09:55
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Hi Geordie, Sped/speeded! That got my brain in a tizwaz. As best I understand, sped is past and speeded is present. So I'll leave it, but if you, or anyone has further info...
Thanks for reading and commenting. This is the first thing I wrote after changing my approach somewhat. Hopefull to more show and less tell. I may have gone overboard here a bit, lol, but I'm learning. Thanks again
wizzer Comment by: wizzer Online- 2008-04-01 23:09
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love this could feel the sweat.

?sped up instead of speeded
xxxgeo
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-03-10 07:21
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Thanks so much for help with the puctuation, Karen, it's still too often a mystery to me. Glad you liked it :)
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