“I tell you what.”
“Mmmhhmmmmmm?”
“Just take a look over at that signpost, willya?”
The sign—a cautionary measure for motorists, warning them that a school was nearby—had “I FUCKED HER” written underneath the mother and child, a telling arrow pointing to the child.
A Cadillac was parked across the street from the sign, the front passenger seat occupied by Jeff, the back seat by Bob.
Bob said: “What about it?”
Jeff said: “Well, Bob. Can’t you just see how dripping in wrongness that sign is? It’s horrendous.”
“I guess,” said Bob, taking a bite out of his Triple Talofa Cheeseburger.
“You guess, huh? That’s good enough. Come on, let’s go.”
"Uno momento, good sir. I gotta finish my Mountain Dew,” Bob said, sipping his drink.
Three minutes later, after the Dew was finished and they had retrieved the chainsaws from the trunk, Jeff and Bob cut down the sign. Nobody at all saw this.
So when Nancy (Jeff’s woman) got back from shopping and saw the decapitated sign, she gasped.
“Gasp! The sign has gone!”
“Bitch!” yelled Jeff. “Drive us to the Texan Steakhouse on the fuckin’ double or I’ll smack you right inta next mother-fucking-Wednesday! GOT IT?!?!”
“Yes, Jeff.”
The Cadillac lurched into traffic, disappearing quickly.

THE END

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