 |
 |
 |
| |
Frog Giggers
"Shut up."
"No, you shut up," I said.
I always had to carry the light and the bag. I would have liked to say I didn't know why, but my brother was so much taller and better with the gig. So I dragged the bag along and pointed the light along the pond's edges while he stood over me like the Shaka Zulu of frog giggers.
If you would like to read the rest of this story, it has been published and you may read it here:
Frog Giggers at Dew on the Kudzu
http://todaysdeepsouth.blogspot.com/2008/06/frog-giggers.html
Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
|
|
Rosie,
I agree with Shadowdancer. This is one impressive, easy flowing, believable piece. In addition to all the Shadow raved about, the following line resonated especially well with me:
"our parents grinned in what I now knew was anticipation of the only three weeks of sanity they had each year"
woo hoo, I can't wait until summer. My little darling scamper off to camp, and my wife and I catch up on sleep and non-Disney activities. |
|
|
OMG, girl! Just finished the 3rd paragraph. You ARE so much better than before!! And you were good BEFORE!!
"We stumbled in the darkness down the gravel road to the frog pond. The morning sounds in Tennessee were loud and strange to our city ears. Cicadas trilled notes on top of the rhythm of the crickets, and the barn owls hooted now and again. Foxes yipped in play somewhere in the distance and as we grew closer to the pond, the deep bass toned frogsong called and answered."
The above paragraph is written really well. Many times I read descriptions that are too in-depth. The really INTERESTING thing about the above paragraph is that the descriptions are audible and not visual. That doesn't happen very often, and yet it creates the visual effects desired. Very nice (haven't seen it done too much).
"They continued to dance in the oil like they had in life."
Another fantastic line! Very descriptive and creatively clever!
Well, I loved the ending. It starts with arguing and ends with arguing as only siblings can do so well and effectively. Beautiful comment: "That's what your legs is gonna do when you die, Tad."
You know what? I hope you try some surrealism. I remember the ghost story, the lady falling into the river until the current swept her pain away.
You know me. I like to give a lot of praise and encouragement. It's my way. But it also allows me to say some negative things that a writer (IMHO) needs to hear, and because I write it positively it almost always is received well (if not acted on).
But... I found nothing to critique here. Today you only get my praise and adoration. |
| 1 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
