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Glow
I lose my will in the winter,
like a lone flake melting against skin.
Too many men have frosted my windows
but I (needed them, I) wanted their slick ice.
When it was too cold to snow,
I would draw daisies in their hot air and smoke.
I let them leave, smoldering, holding onto their confining rays of sunshine.
"There are no more stars,"
he said to me,
"only steam rising from empty mouths."
I was beauty, I was, I was,
and I was even made for another evening,
but Dear,
I was never in love.
There is no winter where you are, no tears where you are,
only more gray light to dance the echoes of your face.
Now the salt of my legs dries in streams,
and the snow lingers to chill me,
but I will thaw, I will thaw, I will thaw.
And when it is over,
you will still be that man,
and I, still this woman,
wrapped, kept still
in your nothing.
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Comment by: Jorbian Online- 2008-05-07 20:09
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You are a master! Your work is golden. This is golden. I say this far more often then I should, but this is like a golden jewel floating in a sea of garbage. Smashing. Simply smashing.
It is rare to find things like this in post-modernism. Addressing people even like you, who have not yet earned the place they deserve in history, I dare not to attempt to call myself a poet. |
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Comment by: ac7904 - 2008-04-19 18:25
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This swept me away. I am sometimes torn about the effect of repetition, but here its emotive quality was absolutely lovely. "but I will thaw, I will thaw, I will thaw."
I've connected deeply to this. Thank you!
I have also recently discovered Plath in a new way...I sense her influence here. |
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this one keeps the reader on a loop, reading and re-reading.
i would remove the parenthesis, only use a comma to slow the voice there.
and prune --wrapped-- out of last part. maybe move the word elsewhere as i believe it fitting, even necessary somewhere.
the surges of intense emotion manage to be heady and visceral, connecting through. i was, i was, i was, i will thaw, i will..i wil... |
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Comment by: Stephie - 2008-04-05 01:36
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I am debating as to whether or not THIS is my favorite April poem of all time.....ahh,but then you will write a new one tomorrow, and that will be my favorite.
" was beauty, I was, I was,
and I was even made for another evening,
but Dear,
I was never in love."
Those lines.....are so simple, yet so extraordinary. The same can be said for the poem in its entirety. |
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What about "kept"?
It's not very helpful to get a one word reply. |
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