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RobinE
Robin Evans
United States, TX, Laredo

Words: 1740
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Immortal Vampire - Robin Evans

Immortal Vampire traces the movement of vampires after their exposure in Europe in the 1800’s and their consequent exodus to the South Seas. It is the story of Billy, a young Australian and his adventures on the way to, and his life as, a turned vampire. The story also traces vampires back to prehistoric Earth when they roamed in ignorance alongside humans. The vampire’s evolution surpassed that of humans, they gained a degree of control over lesser species. Vampires are awesome creatures, utterly impervious and unseen by humans, they are spiritually, politically and socially advanced, human mythology, religion and spirituality is a direct result of vampire coercion.

Immortal Vampire
A Preview from Chapter 6. - Part 1.

That evening a lavish banquette was held around the great mahogany table in the captain’s cabin, the four vampire captains and their favorites from the other four vessels were in attendance. This was an important event; my captain had personally selected several young and healthy blood slaves to share with his friends after the meal, which was of surpassing excellence. The captain’s personal chef had expertly removed the testicles and blood organs from those islanders that been deemed useless, he had prepared these delicacies and served them in various amusing dishes. I became sharply aware as the stewards brought each dish to table, that I had often tasted these human treats before at the captain’s table, not really knowing what they were.

As the guests arrived I noticed that among them was the beautiful woman I had seen talking with the captain at the back of the great hall in Gristhaven on Bougainville Island. She was a tall, slender woman, dark, beautiful and very mysterious, not outspoken she chose her words carefully and spoke only directly to another, never to the general gathering. She was a high Prince of the same rank as the Prince we were here in the Fijian islands to avenge; everyone at the gathering seemed to shrink in her presence but my captain. They seemed like old friends.

“This is High Prince Lillith Dracul” announced the captain as he introduced her to me; the high prince looked at me briefly, acknowledged my rank saying monotonously, “Prince Billy” and then politely continued talking with the captain.

There was much alcohol consumed, after the meal the captain ordered that the blood slaves be brought in.

“Gentlemen” he announced, “Our mission has been successful, we have not only avenged our beloved high Prince Jevarc, but we have taken many more captives than expected. Please feed at your pleasure, these blood slaves are here for your pleasure and entertainment” He grabbed the balls of the nearest slave and with his sharpened dagger glinting in the candle light; he deftly cut the youth’s throat. Blood spurted out across the room and the captain drank deeply, an orgy of bloodletting and perversion had begun, Lillith, still seated beside me whispered softly.

“Shall we leave now Billy” It was not really a question and because of her rank, I obeyed.

Up on the deck of the Emperor the air was still, there was a tropical full moon hanging low in the eastern sky and the sea was flat black and glassy. A balmy stench of burnt flesh still rolled in off the island and there were traces of burning buildings and vegetation still visible through the smoky haze that now embraced the lifeless atoll. Points of light sparkled on the water reflected from oil lamps on the other ships in the bay and the sounds of drunken sailors singing their shanties impaled the darkness, it was warm and I was slightly drunk.

“Billy, I realize you are very special to your captain and I do not wish to come between you however I would like to become your friend”

“My Prince, you are my friend, of course” I said.

“Lillith, please call me Lillith, rank need not stand between us Billy” Then she moved closer to me, I could smell her perfume mixing with the sickly sweetness of the carnage that lingering in the sea air. She looked into my eyes and I was mesmerized by her gaze, then she put her arms gently around me and rested her chin on my shoulder.

She whispered into my ear.

“Billy, would you allow me a kiss?”

“Yes Lillith, please do kiss me” her kiss was gentle at first, her cool lips pressed against mine as a mother would kiss her son. Then more urgently, her kiss deepened and she entered me with her searching inquisitive tongue, I submitted, I was inebriated but it was no longer the alcohol, from the first time I had seen this beautiful Prince, I wanted her.

“Lillith” I whispered, “follow me” and pulling gently away, I led her beneath decks to my cabin.

Following me into the cabin Lillith removed her cloak flinging it over a chair; she wasn’t dressed like a lady but more like a fine young gentleman. She wore some sort of corset engagement covered by a loose fitting transparent shirt tied at the waist and skin tight shiny black leather pants. Black leather riding boots came up high on her well-formed legs and a braded plat of thick raven hair ran from the crown of her noble head down between her slender shoulders into the curve of rounded behind. She stared into me as she said.

“Billy, do you know why I am a high prince?” I didn’t, I had no idea, but I couldn’t talk, I wanted to say something but the words wouldn’t take form. Lillith continued “I am born vampire” as she spoke glistening fangs descended slowly into her sensual mouth as if commanded to by her disclosure. The whole shape of her face transformed, it took a demonic appearance, she was beautiful.

“I was born many centuries ago; I am one of the few full vampires alive in the world” This was a lot of information to process but she went on, “We can turn humans to the immortal life but we seldom do anymore. The humans who have become immortals in the past have generally misused their gift, squandered it, breaking our laws, leaving the covens vulnerable to exposure, so now the immortal gift is only given sparingly to a selected few”

”But the captain” I managed to stammer, she cut me off, “he is merely my familiar Billy as are you, you are not a true vampires but you are among those who are sanctioned by us. You do not possess our immortality or any of our real powers; you have the blood lust but still you eat food and walk among humans as one with them. Most of the vampires you have met are familiar’s, they serve the inner cult of the Black Rose though they remain quite unaware of us as different in anyway from themselves”

I was still unable to move but I was hyper aware and listening to Lillith as she continued.

“Billy, you and your captain will become full bloods this eve, I will bring you into the fold and you will sit high in our realm alongside the great princes. Are you willing to give me your human life now Billy?” She looked at me quizzically and at the same time she seemed to release me from her spell so that I was able to talk freely again.

“Yes, I am willing Lillith” and I was, I was under her spell yet completely able to think for myself and I wanted passionately to join with this incredibly attractive woman. I was also surprised at my willingness though, I was normally reserved about the big decisions but I was lustful for more than just blood now.

“Are you sure Billy, there is no undoing the immortal bond, once you step across into the darkness you can never return to the light, not even in the unlikely event of your death will you be free of the mantel that is vampire”

”I am ready Lillith” I heard myself say the words from a long way away, I was watching events unfold, my physical participation was just one aspect of my awareness. It seemed that the closer I came to Lillith, even as her familiar, the more my awareness expanded. I wanted to see the whole truth of my potential; I wanted her gift whatever it meant or took.

Lillith took me in her arms again but this time she gently moved in to sunk her glistening fangs into my jugular, she fed with such a ferocity that I seemed suddenly to loose all my strength, I had the feeling that we had risen off the deck and floated together, weightlessly in the thin dank air of my cabin. Then, as I collapsed, she caught me effortlessly and scooped me up onto my bunk.

“Do not be afraid my Billy” she said reassuringly as she bit down into the pale flesh of her own wrist and told me to drink from her, “You must drink from my blood Billy or you ‘will’ die” weakly I sucked on the vampire’s cool, bleeding wrist.

I went to hell and back, the boy Billy died that night and a new vampire prince was born into my body, it was as though I had become possessed as I went through my human death to be born again as the immortal, undead, Prince Lucian Dracul. Lillith whispered sweetly to me through my delirium many soothing words but among them she said this.

“You must never speak of this experience except to those who are, of the blood, you will develop quickly, and your new vampire vision will show you, of itself, who your true blood companions are” I understood little the import of what Lillith told me that night but as the agonizing hours passed and I finally began to recover my strength, I noticed her still in my cabin, seated quietly now in an armchair watching over me.

Lillith looked quite different to me now, still stunningly beautiful she no longer looked human, there was an aura of bright light around her and the shape of her face had changed again, her fangs remained distended and her brow and jutted out heavily shading her demon green eyes.

Read the entire story at: http://stores.lulu.com/miracleweb
Contact the author at: miracleweb@gmail.com

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Comments  
Sajani Comment by: Sajani - 2008-03-14 15:18
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Robin, your story is filled with passion and longing. You keep the reader involved by using wonderful imagery and anticipation. Your characters are strong, and the story obviously comes from the heart. Now you just have to work on that grammar! :)
RobinE Comment by: RobinE - 2008-03-12 08:19
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Ive taken your advice, Ive split the text up a bit. I'm not much at editing my own stuff though any I'm sure it's full of bugs...Thanks!
shelagh Comment by: shelagh - 2008-03-12 04:13
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The piece is long and it does need editing. As an example of the book, it suggests the whole manuscript needs checking over for grammar mistakes. It's always difficult to be hooked into a story at such a late development in the plot.

I agree with sarra, you should break the chapter down into sections and add a little information about the preceding chapters.
sarra Comment by: sarra - 2008-03-12 00:21
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I like the idea of this, but I notice an overuse of commas where they need not be throughout the chapter. I sadly haven't the time right now to go through and point out where each one is located...

I would say most places could use periods or even semi colons or dashes.

It is hard to find people willing to read long word counts on here: best bet is to take a huge chapter like this and break it down into 2 or 3 sections, each being its own separate upload. I learned that myself when I first got here.

:)
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