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Locked Within
(It's been a LONG while since I tried anything poetic. I love the rhyming poems, equal syllables and meter of each line (or close to it), a pulse and/or wave that flows from beginning to end like a savage drumbeat in the gentle jungles of the mind. ... yeah, it's been a long time waxing poetic, and I can tell. lol!)
Golden sun drops and dripping pain,
Solid fusion and smiling rain,
Plastic smileys and opposites
Hidden agenda’s composites
Pompous writers and strangled hearts
Locked within this published art
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Thanks, Dante. I like it brutal, and you were honest.
To be honest, poetry isn't really my thing, although 3 of my poems appeared at Red Pulp Underground and one in their new poetry anthology coming out. I always describe my poetry as "songs without music waiting to be sung." lol!!
Maybe I could take the description and expand it. I used to LOVE to do what others called prose. Hmmmmm. That's really a good idea, I think. |
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Comment by: Dante - 2008-03-20 16:11
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To be honest John, I'm not a big fan of rhyming contemporary poetry. I think that it is a thing of the past, which in most cases, is to confining to really grasp the soul of this modern reader.
But, what I do like is your description of the poems - "savage drumbeat in the gentle jungles of the mind". That's good stuff man. You could really develop this idea into something grand. If you do, I would love to read it. Dante |
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Comment by: helao - 2008-03-14 22:27
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"I love the rhyming poems, equal syllables and meter of each line (or close to it),"
I have a poetry block in my brain. But I'll give it a try.
Solid fusion and smiling rain.
I'm trying to imagine smiling rain, and I can't. Maybe it's because of the aforementioned block.
I do like this line a lot:
Pompous writers and strangled hearts
The images I love are "dripping pain" and "plastic smileys".
I've used similar images in a short about suicide. |
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