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frees340
Vyasar Ganesan
Online
United States, TX, Austin

Words: 192
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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Wee Challenge 29: Over Exposure

“Don’t move.” The note of fear in Clara’s voice shook Mark’s marrow. What could have gone wrong?

“Mark, take a step to the left. Slowly.” This time, it was Felicia’s soft tones. Mark thanked God she was there. His wife knew more about this…thing, than the whole staff.

Clara swore as he moved aside. “What?” This time, the fear was in his voice.

Felicia answered with a query. “How long was it under?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t do this roll. It could have been Phil, Jen, anyone with the lab key…”

He saw Clara gently prod the waterlogged cylinder. “How old did he say this was?”

“Had it since ‘66.” Mark thought he heard disgust perforating his wife’s words. “Why he waited till now to bring it in...”

Mark was raining sweat on the floor. “How bad is it, Clara?”

She let out a harsh laugh. “Bad? Oh, its perfect.”

Mark dared to look up, for an instant. It was all he needed to see: the blank, glossy square of graying paper, still wet, clutched in Clara’s small hands.

“Perfectly over-exposed, that is.”

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Comments  
vlclasby Comment by: vlclasby - 2008-03-16 21:23
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Nice suspense. I thought maybe it was a bomb or something! Tight, tense little story with a great twist at the end. Enjoyed it!
frees340 Comment by: frees340 Online- 2008-03-14 10:26
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Fixed.
Boonrassi Comment by: Boonrassi - 2008-03-14 08:47
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(This time), it was Felicia’s soft tones that reached his ears.

//not really needed.. 'it was felicias........... does all the work.

Mark was sweating hard now..

//could be changed from all 'tell' maybe.
sweat verbed down his face.
sweat verbed his shirt collar.

I don’t know. I didn’t do this roll. It could have been Phil, Jen, anyone with the lab key

//good dialog..

lot going on in a 194 words, good job.
thanks for playing..
T
easywriter58 Comment by: easywriter58 Online- 2008-03-13 19:28
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This was suspensful until the end, hehe. I still have my pictures from 1966 but some are a bit faded. They're in black and white.
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