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sudipal
Chana Lapidus
United States

Words: 195
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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Wee Stories #29: Diamonds

While lying in bed, Jayne yawned as she turned off her TV, deciding nothing was on. She lazily searched for entertainment from the mess on her nightstand. Her hand grabbed a magazine from the top of the pile. Jayne randomly flipped through the pages, but stopped when one of the advertisements caught her eye. A young model- pretty, thin, and blonde- made her look down at her own flabby body and run her hand though her own short, brown hair. Models usually never got to her like that, but something about this one made her melancholy. "What was it?" Jayne wondered. She studied the page. Certainly it wasn't the clothes; the skirt was too short for her taste. Not the man in the background; though she was divorced, she was doing well for herself in the dating world again.
Her eyes suddenly brought her to the model's ears, which contained diamond studs. Diamonds. Real diamonds! That was it, for Jayne had always secretly wished for diamonds. Though she had lots of cubic zirconia, she never owned the real thing. She put down the magazine and sulked. "Damn those models!"

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lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-03-19 19:26
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Poor Jayne, I know it works like that. Some models just get to me too, and I'm not always sure why. A good idea for the challenge.
Boonrassi Comment by: Boonrassi - 2008-03-17 18:35
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Chana this is so different from your poetry.

i gotta say the difference between show v tell hasnt clicked for you yet.
its a matter of sentence construction.

Diamond studs glittered in the models ears. Diamonds. Real Diamonds!

//that first bit is show now.
its subject verb.
yes.. it can be done a hundred different ways, short sentence or long.

Diamonds. Real Diamonds!

//excellent, liquid switch to internal dialog there.

thanks for playing,
T
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By sudipal

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