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ausura90
Rachel Ausura
United States, va, newport news

Words: 96
Access: Public
Comments: 7

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I am Them

I’m the whispering wind
stirring up trees
down fall the leaves
along with me,
I am them
I’m the wind and the leaves
in the trees
and the chill of the seas
so am I
You feel me on skin
while you swim
the ocean blue,
reflecting skies,
a perfection of hues
draped with silk,
there I am
in the liquid pain
poured from skies
and your eyes
while you cry
I mix with tears-
Salty droplets on
Lips, so smooth
Open up-
You fields, rivers, streams,
Open wide to scream
“I am you”

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Comments  
johnnycoolhand Comment by: johnnycoolhand - 2008-03-30 20:39
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almost like the prototype poem. just like flows real well n has good pastel imagery. check plus..
colindardis Comment by: colindardis - 2008-03-29 11:19
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Powerful and direct. I would include a few stanza breaks, just to help mark out the progression and flow of the poem, after the lines 'I am them', 'so am I' and 'there I am'. I would also extend both used of the contraction 'I'm' to the full 'I am' as this sounds more definite, more direct.
chant1 Comment by: chant1 - 2008-03-25 07:44
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Wonderful poem !
mattarnold Comment by: mattarnold - 2008-03-21 23:15
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flows well. loved it.

"I’m the whispering wind...I am you”
well bracketed; begining and end. liked how you did that..m
YouSilence Comment by: YouSilence - 2008-03-20 02:04
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Simply Wonderful Imagination! How true! "Nature is I" and "I am the Nature". From the lines, I liked the "liquid pain" as it describes a state of pain that can be of flowing nature. Well done.
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