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Comment by: MsWizard Online- 2008-04-17 09:57
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| Bleak and visual....I like it! |
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| Actually that's not a bad idea. I got annoyed with all the I's when I was writing it but I never came up with the obvious of dropping them. Thanks. |
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for experimental effect i (I) would remove all the (I) in this piece.
it is so well placed, you need not do anything, just try it, it sang well this way to me in dark tones.
"and curves in wrong places" to balance "check all reflective surfaces"
your writing is pure, sure, strong. |
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deep and dark emotional poetry .just the way i like it .
clever wordplay |
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very good emotionally. as always, i just say add punctuation.
//I search my plum tree
For the perfect blossom
this image hints at something more in your writing, a more imagist style that i think you should look into, not that your current style is bad (it's fantastic and you're very good at it) but diversity is always good. |
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