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Swirling cactus
Step by step, leaving myself behind
A walk by Roman ruins
I shrugged off, threw up our conditioning
And now and then
I lose footing
I eat up abandon like arsenic
And still, still
I dust myself off,
And disappear in a cloud of resolve
The silences, the absences and the
Penances
Carry me between each step
And upright in my stance
I crawl through the debris of exaction
Following the sound of Freud's symphony
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| Amazing to say the least |
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Comment by: Mick - 2008-03-28 04:13
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I agree with some of Boonrassi's comments.
‘I eat up abandon like arsenic
and still, still
I dust myself off,
I disappear in a cloud of resolve... Brilliant!
Upright in my stance
I crawl through the debris of exaction
An upright crawl… Love it.
Keep shinin' Shirine... xox |
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hi Shirine..
coming across this was a nice surprise.. its rich, vivid and potent.
strong word choice.
//nice..
I eat (up) abandon like arsenic
//maybe not needed.. no biggie for sure though.
And disappear in a cloud of resolve
//gorgeous..
I crawl through (the) debris of exaction
//not really needed..
o and its fantastic.. haha.
//i think youve started to many lines with 'and'.
something to think about.
really nice work,
thanks,
( /)
( . . )
c(")(")
T |
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