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bounarjaf
Kevin Jernigan
United States, New Mexico

Words: 174
Access: Public
Comments: 6

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Pests

I can´t stand to look in the mirror or even feel myself inside this body. How did they do this to me? It must have been in my sleep. I´m too numb sometimes to notice things. But I keep having a dream of small spiteful twinkling eyes above me. I know that was them. They gave me to someone. It´s the same person who these ridiculous parts come from, this pocked and rubbery face, these flab-for-muscle arms, legs that barely walk. Even my own voice is gone, replaced. I don´t think there´s anything I can do about it. I had to sign a contract to move in this place. I had to promise to follow the rules. No acting out. If I go trying to find who has my parts, they´ll make me leave. The only thing I can do is look up at the ceiling and shout "What the hell did you do with my body?" I don´t expect an answer from those squirrels.

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Comments  
larciero Comment by: larciero - 2008-04-04 10:03
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hahahaha I love this madness. Age, and madness. Growing old is the devil. Love this piece.

"Even my own voice is gone, replaced." - Love that.
LouiseKay Comment by: LouiseKay Online- 2008-04-02 09:25
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Small, spiteful, twinkling eyes - sounds like the perfect description of squirrels to me. (Save me! It's the overly cute vermin!)

Nicely done. Enough paranoia to know that something is wrong inside this narrator's head, yet also get across that they have enough touch with reality to know that 'acting out' is 'bad'. Good juggling act to make this a more rounded personality.
bounarjaf Comment by: bounarjaf - 2008-04-01 10:00
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Thanks for the comments. I was inspired by two separate stories from friends about people (probably schizophrenic) whom they had met. One of those people thought that squirrels in his attic were plotting against him. The other said her body parts were being replaced. I decided to combine the two and explore what it would be like from that person´s point of view. Wizzer, I see what you mean. Twinkling and spiteful aren´t generally used together. I like coming up with unusual word combinations. Sometimes, they work but sometimes they don´t.
wizzer Comment by: wizzer Online- 2008-03-31 13:44
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But I keep having a dream of small spiteful twinkling eyes above me......?small spitefull eyes twinkling above me ....or cut twinkling it doesn't seem to go with spiteful....

and shout(,) "What the hell did you do with my body?"

this is great! as one of the sqirrels.....my spiteful eyes gleamed ...you gotta be kind to be cruel?
xxxgeo
nadinesellers Comment by: nadinesellers - 2008-03-30 09:37
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spent too much time in a nursing home? That's what it must feel like to be a prisoner of old age and contractual restrictions.

"it's the same person--from whom--these ridiculous...
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