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| That is a complain. No doubt. The complain can be to the God, to the Goal, to the Lover, or to someone who just left the world. The beauty about this poem is that you have limited number of words to express a process which is very very serious. I dont remember so few words moving a part of my heart and my mind in this fashion! Thanks for this. |
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Comment by: - 2008-04-01 23:48
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It is but a reflection, God as a moment of frailty but God is within so whatever weaknesses we attribute to God are but ours.
God is love and it is made perfect in weakness. |
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Raghu
Whoa!That was very real.The trail blazing thru the woods was powerful.
But you see I cannot do away with the 'did' and the '?' mark, as that was more of a complain to My Dead God, not an attempt to make him project as a lifeless entity...I can never do it, will not ever do it.
Thanks, that you liked it.
J. |
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Comment by: raghu - 2008-03-30 05:08
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"look at the bed in the corner ..the mutilated body with broken shoulders revealing raw marks of yoke it carried, still lying there"
"And plz walk to window on ur right side..and peep out...do u see a trail blazing thru the woods?? The spirit u questioned is alredy walking the talk... "
"And it dint grow overnight." "only last night was fatefull."
:)
if i was you..i wudnt find it intriguing. And i wudnt use"did" and ? mark in second stanza.
try read bereft it.
beautiful indid!
You made my another evening! |
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Comment by: manoj - 2008-03-29 23:20
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June my sister,
It's an intriguing poem and different views may come out from different readers.
I treat this as...
LOVE LEFT....
... but I am not a good poet ... crying...
GOD IS LOVE
AND LOVE IS GOD.
LOVE CAN'T DIE
AS FRAGRANCE REMAINS. |
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