Cabin Fever

12 by 12:
White all over - heavy ceiling twelve feet high - the cold walls - sweating slimy lime, snow on the sill - ice on the panes - cold on the news - smoke from the stone suspended in gray currents above the stale air, pale - pale white - pale gray - like your face - like my mind - do you like me?

11 by 11:
Gray couch - open to sleep in - blue blanket - you shiver - a brown chair - a desk - I ponder alone across the linoleum we laid over the bare concrete - an insult to ancient walls - the spirits are restless - are you bored?

10 by 10:
The cat lays between us - I wish I were the cat - purring belly up in total confidence - the radio speaks French - squeaks shortwave noise then barks in German - it’s dark outside now - you hang the shutters on the door - I close the curtains - stuff rags in the cracks - shut - shudder - close - closer.

9 by 9:
Your tail just twitched - did you shut the stove lid? Today is Tuesday - yes, the thirteenth - mail must have come today - I think - silence you read - a ball comes rolling across the floor with a cat on it - I grin as balls fall off the holly twigs left over from Christmas decor- do you love me?

8 by 8:
The front room shrinks as the gap across the floor widens - we enlarge - Cerberus stands at the door dressed in silent whites - can you hear me? I need to go to the bathroom - the back door is still there - the garden path is frozen and the outhouse still stands - do you care?

7 by 7:
The house is reduced to one room - one wood stove - is this Alaska or Southwest France? A lush temperate zone with a Scandinavian breath of fresh air. Ah, you stirred - fingers shaking - Eagle-Eye here, watching for signs of life.

6 by 6:
Getting tense - radio wave off - cat on duty - outside coming in through the keyholes - white night moon awake - coffee surplus - nerves astir - unspent - solitary confinement a deux - cozy fireside chats and other impossible dreams - getting romantic - good luck.


5 by 5:
Third day like this - are there lots of divorces in Alaska? Do they bother to marry in the cold? Are we in love still? Oh - you coughed - you are alive - You get up - find an English-speaking station - stir the fire - you stir me - the stew smells good - I am alive!

4 by 4:
What? What is it? You can’t stand my constant writing? I don’t hate your constant reading! Smile? Oh okay - Is the air getting heavy? Is there any air? Air - I mean - Full - the eyes - brim - the nostrils - soft the sounds - Did we die?

3 by 3:
Green eyes - still beautiful - I’m tired - going to be ugly - I can’t hide - can’t hide from your big green eyes that hide from me - I am tired.

2 by 2:
Eat. Stew till I bloat - bloat like a goat - till my brown eyes bulge - till the budget runs out - till doom.

1 by 1:
You and I alone - together - is it love? Is it sex? Is it nerves or do you need me at all? I cry through dry eyes - kiss my chapped lips - quickly before we crack.

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