writing community
Sign In Here | Lost Password | FREE Sign Up
E-mail: Password:
Remember login  
The place for writers:
Upload your writing in minutes, receive peer feedback from other writers, poets, authors, then get your work published out there in the real world.       Learn how other writers are doing it.

 
frees340
Vyasar Ganesan
United States, TX, Austin

Words: 150
Access: Public
Comments: 4

Forward to a friend
Print Version
E-mail this writer E-mail this user 
View Author profile
Add to Readers  




Wee Challenge #31: Buried

Letters full of hope and fear. A bit of Jean’s hair, curled around a broken comb. Some spilt milk. All went in the round shipping tube, rubbing against the plastic insides. The two alone could not fill it, but other children came. Everyone brought something to hide. Many brought money, broken toys. One girl tossed a hoard of donuts in, but not without a long look.

Even then, when everything had been pushed away, there was still room. The children searched fearfully for anything to fill that void. It was then a tall woman walked forward, her tears defining her. A sad smile crossed her face, as she placed a rose petal in between the love letter and the doll.

And it was done. They buried the FedEx tube, its final address within the worm-ridden dirt. The contents had traveled strenuously, and now were beyond reclamation, reality, or existence.

Want to comment on this Flash Fiction?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Flash Fiction and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
Sign up






[Back to top]
Comments  
ParchmentPoetry Comment by: ParchmentPoetry - 2008-04-08 21:24
Add to Readers
      
Interesting story. If I'm not mistaken, it should be "a tall woman walked forward" not forwards. Minor, but . . . Janet
Boonrassi Comment by: Boonrassi - 2008-04-07 06:52
Add to Readers
      
dang.... pretty cool.
love the hair curled around a broken comb.

beyond reclamation, reality, or existence.

//nice..
T
Arley Comment by: Arley - 2008-04-07 05:31
Add to Readers
      
Another good one, Vyasar! One suggestion:

One girl tossed a hoard of donuts in, (but) not without a long look. (You have a spare word to use and BUT will make this read smoother)
nadinesellers Comment by: nadinesellers - 2008-04-06 20:23
Add to Readers
      
haunting writing, seemingly ordinary gestures wrapped into a fragile capsule for children's fragile existence.
face is used twice in same paragraph? a sad grimace? a wistful smile reached her eyes?
1

Sponsored Ads


By frees340

Featured Writers

Advertising - Terms & Conditions - Short Story Submissions - Contact - Writing Competitions - Writing Links - Book Promotion - Sky-Tribe.com - alanemmins.com
  Member short stories, poems, comments and other contributions are owned by the poster.
Copyright 2003 - 2007 Edit Red I/S