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frankman
Uchenna Franklin
Nigeria, Kaduna State, Kaduna

Words: 56
Access: Public
Comments: 4

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A Love Song For A "SHE"

Blame God for your state
He's made you like a goldfish
which though seeks and seeks
finds no hiding place

Dainty lips that gently part
to display dazzling teeth
eyes like fiery pearls
that shines in the dark

Pilgrims would trade
your hair-strand for their faith
and keep it till death
like a gold thread.

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Comments  
Vision79 Comment by: Vision79 - 2008-04-25 21:46
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this is beautiful, good job.
Al A Moan Comment by: Al A Moan - 2008-04-12 07:46
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It's cool and I get it! Reminds me of stairway to heaven :0)
frankman Comment by: frankman - 2008-04-11 10:42
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thanks for the observations.
poetguyraza Comment by: poetguyraza - 2008-04-10 17:58
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First of all every song requires punctuation...

Secondly the lines in the very first stanza don't really connect... try to do something about that...

Thirdly it's an amazing theme... Well done!!!
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By frankman

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