I sit up real straight
on my little bar stool
take a deep breath
and say
I ain't no fool!
Don't use me as your tool.

(Look him straight in the eye)
I don't follow that rule -
make me real small
so you look tall.
(I really gave it my all!)

His eyes getting bigger
he didn't quite figure
me like that at all
(He feels small
now I'm getting tall!)

(So I add)
Am I your fad - do you like me just a tad?
A player and a lad? One of the boys -
playing with his toys, making a big noise!"
What car do you drive?
Buzzing round the hive..."

Oh you remembered my number?
Yeah I got yours but that's only because,
there's something else on that page
I said some THING not some ONE!
That there is so done!

SHOW me I'm the one,
When you don't even know me!
I said show me
Talk is cheap is baby.
Try to get cozy!

Compliments with confidence
Or did you use them all up? (on yourself)
Watch out for the consequence
There is no doubt
Or haven't you found that out? (
Starting to shout)

Now he's pulling back
Taking a rain check
It's a big blank one
Could be a fat one

He's good to go!
(Like some kinda coffee)
Just add sugar and stir to make toffee...
I'm talking quality baby
Now I have to wonder
Have I stolen his thunder?
What a huge blunder!

Maybe you like me kinda - sorta?
Yeah - I'm young enough to be your daughter!
(OK - that didn't quite sound right),
I even gave myself a fright,
I know I'm not that polite.

Lock down the hammer tight
I got him straight in my sight
Click goes the trigger
Hey - he didn't figure,
I had THAT on my mind!

But what he don't know, won't hurt him
I need to protect him,
redirect him.
Change the subject,
turn the page.
Pick the scab off that graze.
Kick it in the teeth
and dig it in,
kick him while he's down
and pull the pin!
Take it like a man,
take it on the chin
and watch that brew,
it really gets in!

What have you got to lose,
except for blowing a fuse?
(Those usually come in twos)
I'll walk a mile in your shoes -
I'll win the race and you'll lose!
How did you get confused?
I must admit I'm amused
at the end of the day,
by some of the things that you do
and most of the things that you say!

And you think I'm the crazy one?
Listen to me hon -
There's a list: Number One
I wanna have fun,
preferably in the sun.
Where I am the beautiful one
and you're trying to impress me.
Hell - I may even let you undress me
But I will tell you more about that later -
(when you've got it straighter)
Or would you like it on paper?
I'll send your inbox an email,
explaining it in detail.
Or maybe you'll let me txt you?
If you're not too busy,
maybe THAT might affect you?


Think about it - and can I recommend...
just one thing while I am at it?
My friends and I were talking,
(just when we were out walking)
Global warming is a revolution...
Revalation or revolution?...
anyway, I'm not worried about the polution!
We all know that solution!
When it's the end of the world,
I don't wanna look a fool.
So baby can I recommend,
(get in quick) GIRLFRIEND SCHOOL!

But wait there's more,
dial that number and put it on the plastic,
money back guaranteed,
to make you fantastic!

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