She held onto filaments of memory, the entrails of smoke left dangling between her ears that caught whispers for lust, but rioted for passion. They were a white noise against the backdrop of the moment providing something to cling to and hope for while running meaningless errands meant to waste the hours in a day. The turning wheels of the bus staccatoed into a clunky rhythm of axles and potholes as she stared out the window into the gray streets. It wasn’t raining yet, but the clouds above had made their intentions clear to those paying attention and she was secretly glad she left her bike at home.

She saw his face on every passenger and had to hold herself back from making strange conversations with strangers. ‘Of course it’s not him,’ she’d think, shaking the thought off slowly. The reveries were becoming thicker; she had caught herself staring at people who simply stared back, thinking she was crazy. ‘Stared through them, rather,’ she thought disgusted at herself. ‘I don’t even give them the courtesy of averting my gaze, I’m so deep in thought.’ She toyed with the strap holding her umbrella together and exhaled, leaning her head against the back of the seat in front of her and shut her eyes.

She felt the bus make the two quick turns denoting her stop and grabbed her things. The mechanical whoosh of the doors let in the brisk air as she stepped down onto the street, releasing the wings of her umbrella to the sky just to be safe and headed towards the alleyway that led to her apartment. She scampered beneath the balconies of the overhead apartments as the rain poured down heavier, coming in slant-wise beneath the umbrella. She lowered it towards the heavy drops and collided with something she couldn’t see. A muffled groan came from the other side as she raised her umbrella to see a man, his dark overcoat drenched and wet hair plastered to his forehead. “I’m so sorry,” she exclaimed. “Are you okay? I didn’t see you. My god, I’m so sorry.”

He smiled back at her and she noticed rain drops perched on his lower lip, bubbled up and anxious to fall to the ground. “I’m okay,” he replied, smiling. “Just a little late to work and my umbrella broke is all. No worries.” He blinked away the falling rain as she raised the umbrella over him, remarking how, despite the stubble on his face, how handsome he was while his eyes pierced the rainfall and seemed to stare into her rather than through her.

“Would you like to borrow mine? I’m almost home anyway,” she offered, wondering where her samaritanism had come from.

“How will I get it back to you?” he queried genuinely.

She pointed up at the dark window of her apartment in the next building down. “Take it to that apartment when you get off work,” she said, smiling.

“It might be pretty late when I get off,” he replied.

“I don’t mind waiting,” she said as she handed him the umbrella and walked away, a childish grin dancing on her lips as she strolled home relishing the downpour.

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