Wee Challenge #32: Splinter
Right under his big toe. There’s no way its getting out. It just sits there, blood flowing around and out the skin. The toenail is now completely red, but this nail polish comes from the inside.
How did it even get there? Was he kicking lumber barefoot? Or did his toenail simply wink out of existence in the most unfortunate circumstance, then return to complicate the impossibility of removal?
By far, the worst part isn’t the pain he’s going through, the blood on the Formica, or even the possibility of infection. It’s his screaming: that voice is now reaching notes too high for any mother, grandmother, or deaf person to withstand. The pitch keeps shifting as he slams his still-bare, bloody feet around the kitchen, but the noise is on the same unbearable level. Yes, that scream, working around the teeth, riding the spittle and carbon dioxide out of his mouth, winding its way behind the coffeemaker, inside the freezer, and into everyone’s subconscious. Murder aside, no solution exists to remedy his pain, or ours.
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| Man, this brought back memories. I had to sit on her to keep her still enough to take it out. She screamed until I showed her the splinter. Put on a bandaid, and she started playing again. That sound should be harnassed as a weapon. Great story! |
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Comment by: lancslass Online- 2008-04-16 16:55
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Oh, my God, I feel his pain! What a great write, like Sarra, I'm still shuddering.
Really good, Vyasar. Really good! |
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| Love it. Grandmother here--blocking my ears oversized cotton balls, to no avail. Thanks for a good one. Glad it wasn't my toe. I remember my sister throwing a tantrum once and kicking the front door. She lost her toenail on that deal. It was a bloody mess, but we ALL suffered her screams of pain. J |
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Comment by: frees340 Online- 2008-04-14 19:50
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| No, thats staying in. Its not a double neg. He's saying that the toenails return covers the splinter, making it harder to extricate than it already was, which was impossible. |
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Bloody hell! Awesome imagery, action and feel. It puts you right there in same room, and leaves you shell-shocked.
One minor crit. This phrase *feels* like a double-negative to me:
"then return to complicate the impossibility of removal?" [maybe drop "the impossibility of" entirely] |
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