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You in the Backseat
This one is for you in the back seat,
The sun will glow forever in your hair.
This one is for you in the tiny little feet,
Whose eyes can hold the moon
In their all-embracing stare.
How’d you get to be so blissful?
How’d you get to be so keen?
How’d you get that sense of wonder,
Solemn three feet and under?
You sit only
In the
old
back
seat!
This one is for you in the playpen,
Yeah the sun is caught forever in your hair.
Everybody knows by fact you’re a Godsend,
But how many are really gonna care?
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Comment by: jesscat - 2008-07-28 22:11
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I just think that our society tends to ignore children too much. They are so awesome. Really, like all the time, I am really surprised at how clever and witty they are. They make me laugh super hard all the time, and they do it on PURPOSE. Most of the media I see was obviously made with no regard to children whatsoever, but the truth is, the kids are still going to see it. They see EVERYTHING. They pick up everything. And what they pick up is what they will perceive as normal.
Even though I'm just eighteen, I feel pretty lame and old around kids. I don't have that much energy anymore. I just want to sit around and do lame stuff like talk and sleep and eat. When I wake up, I'm kind of pissed about it. When I was little, I would be ECSTATIC about the fact that the sun was up, and it was a DAYTIME again! and I got to wear clothes!! and I got to eat breakfast!! (okay, i'm still stoked about breakfast every morning.)Kids ROCK. The world would be so depressing without them. Why don't we write more songs about how cool they are, and less about how lame we are? Who wants to hear about how lame we are, anyways?
whenever anybody thinks, "How the heck did we get this perfect mini human?!! Holy cow, it's fingers are so small and perfect!I couldn't make that.." The awe and wonder that they feel, that is God. A newborn is one of those rare things in life that, when confronted, almost forces one to recognize the reality of some amazing, beautiful, unimaginable power, and rejoice in it.
And that, my friends, is another really really long explanation. But that was as short as I could make it. oh well, the whole point of this website is to write, anyways, right? I can post essays on each poem I write... |
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If you were Brittany Spears you could retitle it "You in my lap."
The words are sweet to the one's they're meant for. "But how many are really gonna care?" Only those closest to them and raised them I imagine. Of course you know that already.
James Taylor was known for singing songs for his children, I sense the beginnings of a song in this dedication. |
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I liked the message
maybe if you were to put it into stanzas it would make it an easier read. |
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| Annnnd, I forgot. I think the line "You sit only in the back seat!" could be omitted. haha, Hope that helps. |
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I like this. It begins very sweetly. I'm guessing it's about a daughter, etc?
"This one is for you (With) the tiny little feet"
<said "in".
Perhaps "Hold in the moon in (Her/its)" Otherwise it'll be seen as plural.
Love the "How'd you get so" bit. It makes me think of cooing at a child to make it laugh.
"Solemn(ly) three feet and under" might flow better.
"Every(one) know in fact you're a Godsend" as well.
Now, the ending is what gets me. It makes me reflect on the innocence and potential we all have when we're young, but how many of us somehow "fail" to reach it. Or, maybe it's just late and I'm being overly analytical, haha.
Anyways, good write. Made me smile. |
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