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AJSmith
Adam Smith
United Kingdom, Stourport

Words: 78
Access: Public
Comments: 1

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Tencreek and the Rabbits

Half-acre plateaus
descend like steps
towards the sea
that's papered abroad,
peeling upward
and falling now
on the empty
tent spaces.

Resident but dog-chased,
and from distance
like tiny brown sheep

grazing sloping Welsh mountains,

are Rabbits,
shepherded only by the seasons.

Our holiday is their hibernation,
our hibernation

leaves their land to them,

and what should be
sad in winter,

lifeless,

is teaming,

and what seems wrong;
a caravan park in rain,

rings their playtime bell.

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Comments  
fisherman1369 Comment by: fisherman1369 - 2008-08-10 15:05
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The theme was good, but I got lost after "...that's papered abroad..." The first few lines gave excellent visual images, then it went in another direction. If you just began another way, I think I could have followed better. I did love the line "...shepherded only by seasons..." That is a very deep philosophical line. Keep to one subject. I look forward to reading more.
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By AJSmith

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