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Hershy0069
Devin Hirsch
United States, california, Winters

Words: 112
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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swept aside.

My screams are swept aside
deep within my anger hides,
fighting to be free from fear
fear of loosing what i hold dear,

my thoughts are my enemy
and time ignores me completely,
i sit here waiting for a hand
a sign of hope from around the bend,

but swept aside and forgotten at once
sitting here while they pass without a glance,
even my words are read and tossed out
but i choose not to pout,

Im going to get through with you or not
better on my own i cant be stopped,
i'll type my words and you will read
my soul is here so and i am freed.

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Comments  
Needz2Escape Comment by: Needz2Escape - 2008-04-19 12:06
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I like where your going with this piece. You were able to incorporate rhyming with out making the poem sound stupid because you felt limited by the need to rhyme.
I found it effective how you were able to put me in the situation with out a lot of imagery.
very nice
I was able to connect with the underlying issue of the piece.
Needz2Escape Comment by: Needz2Escape - 2008-04-19 12:06
Add to Readers
      
I like where your going with this piece. You were able to incorporate rhyming with out making the poem sound stupid because you felt limited by the need to rhyme.
I found it effective how you were able to put me in the situation with out a lot of imagery.
very nice
I was able to connect with the underlying issue of the piece.
1

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By Hershy0069

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