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The Venus Mice (Wee Story #32 Mouse Shadows)
174 wds.
_ _ for italics.
“Venus invented feminine wiles, you know.”
Metal clamps pressed mice to the floors of endless, stacked, small steel cages.
“Abrade the skin here, like this.”
Sandpaper grated the mouse's rump. The gray, hairless mutant squealed.
“Then grab Venus sample eighteen and- ” A cloudy solution dripped from a syringe onto red, raw skin. The liquid mixed with blood and fizzed.
“We do the whole group that way; two hundred mice. Yeah, Venus, she painted on a mask with every sunrise.”
“This next batch of four hundred gets pinned under ultra violet lights 24/7 for twenty weeks till they develop tumors, and we measure that against how long it takes the ones applied with Venus sunscreen base to get cancerous.”
“You use Venus products? No? You might. It's a French company that has six makeup lines under it's umbrella.”
He picked up a vile of thick fluid. “Look at this foundation concentrate; the company calls it _The Veil_.”
Tiny chests heaved; a thousand tails cast wriggling shadows.
“Venus didn't let anyone see her real face.”
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Comment by: LadyMoon Online- 2008-04-29 16:47
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Just to follow the same vein as everyone else, "It's a sobering story."
Kind of made me upset. I'm a _vetran_ animal rights activist. I could go on a rant but I'll bit my tongue.
Great imagery. You touched upon a sensitive subject often outcasted and ignored by those who choose to turn a blind eye to the true cost of beauty.
I tried to stay impartial to the subject matter and focus on your writing style, but its pretty difficult when my blood starts to boil. |
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Comment by: helao - 2008-04-27 20:50
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| I like very much, timba, nice work, this. It's sobering how much little critters do so much for beauty, and you showed it interestingly. |
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Wow Boon...er Tim...um Boon it is; totally the shiz this is. You have the gift of saying volumes in so few words. Tight work (as usual), on track and unwavering.
I still wear makeup...and I've always been grateful for animal testing (animal rights activists need not write me on the subject)
Political and gruesomely insightful; just the way I like them.
M |
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| You put my mind at ease. Haven't worn make-up for years. Now I remember why; not that the barn doesn't need paint, just that the paint comes at too high a price. Thanks for sharing. Janet |
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hey tim,
excellent story again.you seem to have got the puncuation on the money this time, too.
great idea for a setting. i can only hope that in real life it aint so grizzley!
the only crit for me was:
'Tiny chests heaved with fear...'
just seemed a bit over the top. mice probably don't understand the concept of fear. seemed too disney.
i disagree with previous crits of other aspects of the story being o.t.t - you establish the shady/illegal aspect of the company testing and run with it.
ta |
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