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artificial inseminations
stem the tide of procreation
abortion clinics
liver spots
aneurysms
iron lung blood clots
we made love in spectral places
cathedrals
tombs
pagodas
trenches
i could carry on for hours
with these unconnected
nonsensical sounds
but i wont
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Interesting, Rupert. Has a nice flow, but seems interrupted in a couple of the lines such as "iron lung blood clots." Maybe dropping the word "iron" would fix it. I'm too green to gauge it, so will leave critical points to those more experienced. I like it either way. Janet
I like this - it is very meandering and the way it just dips from one subject to another, apparently disconnected, excites me. Because there are connections and it's the flow of life itself that connects them.
I like this one a lot because its different - you've read what I said about taking risks and it's paid off :)
Very avante garde stream of conciousness kind of poem. I like how each word and expression builds on where the last phrase takes the reader (and the poet). Great job.
