Words:	163
Access:	Public
Comments:	4

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Perfect

I thought we had something special
I thought we had it all
I thought you wouldn't leave me
For someone else's call

You said that you love me
You said I, not her, I
You said that you would hold me
But that was all just lies

I held my heart out on my arm
Giving it to you
I thought you were serious
I thought you'd say the truth

You left me without anything
You left me in disgrace
And now I lay upon my bed
Tears streaming down my face

As sadness leaves my broken heart
Anger takes its place
I'm tearing all my memories
The silk the cloth the lace

I push you from my memory
I erase you from my past
Away from me forever
Is where you have been cast

And then I realize something so sudden
That you're not even worth it
If you manage to so calmly change my mind
When I thought things were perfect

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Comments

Comment by: grateful - 2006-06-06 15:15

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Reading only its surface, this poem is sort of painful to read. Rhyming is difficult, in all seriousness. And while some of your stanzas are wonderful (the fourth and the fifth, to be exact), others left me cringing slightly. No offense meant at all; this is simply just a critique. Grow from it or shrug it off, it's regardless.

Grammar/style aside, the last stanza nails the point of the poem excellently. Brava.

Comment by: - 2006-04-05 19:26

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Definitely a poem that many, if not all, can relate to at one point in their lives. Well written.

Comment by: - 2006-02-26 12:55

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A really heartfelt poem. Really enjoyed reading it.

Comment by: - 2006-02-26 11:37

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It is very well done! It shows the faith, the hope, the hurt and the pain, the marks that love leaves on us all.