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jgilgun
Jane Gilgun
United States, Minnesota, Minneapolis

My Bookshop
Words: 83
Access: Public
Comments: 5

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Bird

You bet your bird I did.
I had a bird once.
Kept it in a gilded cage,
fed it seed and water.
You bet your bird
I did wear homemade pinafores,
flitted through the living room
serving guests petit fours.
You bet your bird
I smiled and curtsied,
never said, Mom, notice me,
not my pretty face.
Never said, Dad, notice me,
not my cute smile.
They didn’t notice me.
My bird died.
I forgot to feed it.
You bet your bird.

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My Bookshop

Comments  
skypoetone Comment by: skypoetone - 2008-06-24 09:34
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Without looking can't remember if I posted on this already. Anyway it's clever in its wording, something of a parody I would guess, but with a tinge of sadness... very unusual blend, or maybe it's just the way I read it? :)
phillmag Comment by: phillmag - 2008-04-22 05:26
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Jane, i'm with Sam again. i find this clear concise, poetic and sad. pinafores and petit fours scores a hit.
Namaste, Phill.
DavidHe Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-04-21 03:33
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I feel this is a well-written one, but I wonder if it is a new style. Would you please tell me how you were able to write it? Looking forward to hearing from you. Best wishes.
Sam S Sterling Comment by: Sam S Sterling - 2008-04-20 13:13
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nice allegory.
AJSmith Comment by: AJSmith - 2008-04-20 08:06
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Hi, i thought this was quite a weird one. I'm not sure it was completely clear, or worked. A bit like the bird, some areas were flitted over and not explored with any clarity, like the issue with the parents. A positive of this piece though was the control over the words, it was concise and there were few unnecessary words.
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By jgilgun

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