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Gregory
Gregory Dancer
United Kingdom, Oxfordshire, Banbury

Words: 91
Access: Public
Comments: 2

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Eyes away

A sure-fire diamond,
Light sharp cornered .
Got me sat, little jack hornered.
Eating my cares away.
As I watch it’s gleam ,
Cut away at my
Eyes esteem.

Truth don’t seem to
Be what it mean.
I’m sure today.
So I’ll pack my eyes
And carry them away.

A blade staggered mind
Inward mimed.
Cut away each sensitive neuron,
Each day.
Images of actions romance,
Passion entranced;
In a parody way.

Truth today,
Isn’t what I’m
Into Anyway.
So, I pack my eyes
And walk away .

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Comments  
alcarty Comment by: alcarty Online- 2008-04-21 10:54
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This feels to me like the meter and structure for a song. It seemed to drift a little in the third stanza, but I don't know what beat you would put behind it, so the rhythm might still be there. Original and nicely paced. Good work.
carolinagirl Comment by: carolinagirl - 2008-04-20 18:55
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wow! this is amazing, wonderful imagery. im virtually speechless, i really liked it.
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By Gregory

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