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Goodbyes (AKA:Departure - Wee 33)
It was spring. The anniversary of our first date was coming soon.
We never made it. Betrayal upon betrayal over the years until reaching a final breaking point forced me to take his house keys.
I gave him back the rings. Our promises were irrevocably broken.
At least I still have my children. Their daddy can't live here anymore.
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Comment by: Nora Online- 2008-04-28 19:57
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| Bummer. I definitely agree with Karen. That switch in who you seem to be addressing is the only thing that distracted me. But it was a good, solid story. |
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Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-04-25 14:03
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Hmm, the only thing that really troubles with this one is that last line - it seems like she's suddenly addressing the children, while the rest of the story is clearly not aimed at her children.
Apart from that, I'm sure we all know people like this couple - sad, but all too familiar.
Thanks for the read.
Cheers
karen |
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| Good story, Kirsten. I'd only change one thing which would save you some words for another place perhaps. You wrote: "Betrayal upon betrayal over the years until reaching a final breaking point..." Emphasis is important so you might not like this idea, but I'd say, "Repeated betrayals..." or "Years of betrayal...." Thanks for sharing. Janet |
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Comment by: Arley - 2008-04-23 06:07
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| The tragedy of modern life, one out of two marriages bite the dust here in Greedy America. Good job with the theme telling a solid, yet sad, tale, Kristen! |
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