I discovered your existence in
The silence of an afterthought
It seemed to be a moment of great stillness
And yet a light, cautious movement
Consumed the emptiness

I wished you to be real
And I wished to be you
For I wondered where had gone all
Of my self-pity
There is nothing, nothing to save me
And I wished to be you

The sudden unknown and emptiness
god, I wish they did not feel so familiar
Today all I know
Is that they are with me still

Through years and youth
Through solitude and consciousness
There are embedded and repressed within me
And there has been only intimacy
To fool them from me

I sometimes wonder if I am capable of friendship
And when I scramble for the phone
It rings straight into answering machines

I do not know why I stand alone...
Again the self-pity flees
And my fingers open to let it through
How shall I move forward
With so much truth to accept?
That which is cold, hard...
Now I know truth. I remember truth.
Truth which felt so
Alienating

The truth of the knife, the truth of
The body
And to counter it,
Photoshopped romance.
Good god was I running all this time?
Drug.

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