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Bulldozers spewed toxic fumes as they gouged lush meadows. Chainsaws hewed ancient trees, mulchers gnawed limbs, and logging-Trucks transported the timber booty.
Shotguns cracked. Birds took to the skies whilst frightened creatures fled aimlessly into indefinite exile; some of them survived, others perished.
Travis’s bonus had been secured. Construction of the new International Conservation Headquarters was well ahead of schedule.
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wow, talk about jaded. I loved it. It goes right along with an article I recently read where PETA animal shelters in VA have a kill rate of 97% (compared to "regular" shelters which average around 30%).
The only suggestion I have, is your second line grabs the interest alot more than the opening one.
In short short flash like this I feel its important to engage right from the first word.. 'Bulldozers' is much more interesting than "Bureaucracy" IMO.
Good irony. Your first paragraph was excellent not a single adverb in sight with lots of effective verbs.
Suggestions:
-Get rid of 'an eerie'. It seems contrary to the mood of the piece. The sentence would be excellent without it.
-Grinning is a shortcut to self accomplishment or pleasure. The action in your first paragraph tells me you can do better.
