I have been traumatized. Horrible images crawl across the insides of my eyelids, haunt my sleep, torture my days. I don't know how I'll get over it.

Ever since I moved upstairs to a new cubicle in a different 'cube farm' at work, I'm constantly running into this woman. She is rather large. No shame there. But her boobs are absolutely grotesque. Massive, gargantuan, gi-normous (as Molly would say.) Okay, she can't help that. What is haunting me is the image of these milk sacks, poorly supported and covered only by thin, clingy shirts or sweater, hanging down to her waist and swinging from side to side. Come on!

Ladies, do us all a favor, puh-leez!

1. Get a good bra. Surely your back will feel better, and you'll look much better AND more professional.
2. For God's sake, don't wear clingy clothes! We know they're there. We don't need to see the outline where your boobs are puffing over the top of your bra.
3. Familiarize yourself with the concept of a JACKET. I don't have big bazoombas, but I wear a jacket every day. Winter, summer, spring and fall. I have short sleeve and 3/4 length sleeves for summer. Jackets cover your bazoombas, and look much nicer in the workplace. More professional. If had to be in a meeting with her, I would feel like the airbag in my car deployed! This chick is a manager. She needs to dress more professionally!

If there were a suggestion box, I would suggest an extreme make-over.

If I were in charge, I'd make everyone attend Workplace Attire 101.

But I'm not in charge. So I guess I'll keep peeking around corners trying to avoid her. And her girls.

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