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| aweee... i know the feeling... so many times that title has escaped my mouth... I like the style and structure of the poem... it does seem ragged like the beating of a heart... this is heartbreak in a nutshell...good job... I wouldn t change anything... very expository... |
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| A wonderful visceral poem that cuts to the core. Thanks for the pain. |
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| How many times must one repeat the same comment. At the top of my browser is but one more chance-"Clouds"-for you to fail me, but this one is not it. If you look at my comments to most writers, you would understand that I'm not just humoring you. You are a great writer and a beautiful person, and the newest on my reader list. Thank you for providing me with such fantastic reads tonight. |
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Steph,, this seems effortless.. Such is your style.. But the words seem to trip over one another like the ragged beating of a broken heart.. And I'm sure the effortlessness is a well crafted illusion..
Love the rhythm and the overall atmoshphere..
<3 ouchy,, |
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Comment by: menoh - 2008-04-25 22:08
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| oi...i have been there before, and wished the same thing. you captured the moments and the feelings beautifully. |
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