 |
 |
 |
| |
Warning Signs
I was far away; Guilin. This Chinese paradise would always be in my heart. Here, after fifteen years, I found my daughter.
“Daddy, let’s stop. God it’s hot.”
“How about taking a dip?”
“Okay, last one in eats dog meat tonight!”
A woman in white snapped me back. “Mr. Jacobs, we’ve found some irregularities in your heart.”
Want to comment on this Short Stories?
Sign up to Edit Red and you will be able to comment on Short Stories and get access to: Upload your own stories and poems, get readers and their feedback, promote your work...
|
 |
|
[Back to top]
|
|
 |
Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-05-01 06:06
|
|
Very nice, Mitch - a lot of story in the tiny word count. Well done.
Cheers
karen |
|
|
| thanks very much Arley, great crit. I made some adjustments. Let me know what you think :) |
 |
Comment by: Arley - 2008-04-28 05:50
|
|
| Good stuff, Mitch! One suggestion: instead of ending with ‘And then, I was back' you could refrain from using a third WAS by going ‘The present rudely asserted itself.' |
|
|
| Enjoyed it, love the shortness. Your work is good. Gets to the point. Something I need to learn! |
|
|
| Enjoyed it, love the shortness. Your work is good. Gets to the point. Something I need to learn! |
| 1 2 3 Next |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
