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rhapsody in seven colours
wistful
when swift of wing
swallows fly time
and trout
taunt lures
in gold-flecked streams
and hawthorn berries
kiss the wind
that’s bussed
the rowan tree
embraced
the stubborn oak
danced
with the bowing
larches
somewhere
the sea
begins to shout
and clouds
make mountains
moles
are somnolent
in worm mines
mayflies
have their day
it’s wistful
music
played
by sun’s bow
on rain
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Thanks Sophia and Linda. You brighten a dull day for me.
milner |
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| I wish I had written it! Lovely |
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Comment by: Sophia - 2008-05-02 06:27
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There is a lovely sense of movement in this, and sounds, so that I feel as if I was outside rather than sitting in this office! I loved this part:
'the sea
begins to shout' - such a great description. |
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Thanks, John. Made a few changes, and hope the ending works better.
Milner |
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| Yes, OK, I always react against rainbows (dolphins, cherry blossom and end of line words ending in "ion") in poems, but I can't fault your image that has the same appeal as the Hindu image of Shiva creating the Universe in dance to his drum. "by sun on rainbow" maybe sounds like words jotted on a notepad. After all, you didn't say "danced with bowing pines" |
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