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Paint Me the Sky
Paint me a canvas in the sky.
Let the ocean be the brush,
and the canyon,
the empty pail.
Let the pitter-patter gum drops
rain on my parade.
And fill the ocean
with shards of fiery jade.
Cut down forests
of hard candy,
laid bare in their sugary dust,
swung with the baker's axe.
Let the water run gray
in the lumberjack's dough.
And take the ocean
to paint me the sky.
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Comment by: pitbull - 2008-05-11 16:38
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| very beautiful...very colourful...makes me happy reading it...well done mike |
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Comment by: lucy Online- 2008-05-09 14:12
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| The visual is there right from the start, you describe a scene in a few words, it leaps out on the page subtly. Thanks for sharing |
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Fantastic. I'll be adding that to my library thank you very much.
So simple, yet so colourful and full-flavoured. Particulary like:
Let the pitter-patter gum drops
rain on my parade.
I'm still a bit unsure of:
with shards of fiery jade.
a) because I'm having trouble with jade burning and b) it seems to be the only part that rhymes and maybe it's not needed? But, who knows, it might grow on me. |
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| Felt like I was looking through a kaleidoscope when I read this. This images changed, yet their true colors remain. Brilliant piece, mikepyro. |
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| Another fabulous poem, Mike. |
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