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Stone
stone
and cold
a loose path
and we walk on
out of the grey mist
to where the crag rises
long and dark and menacing
and the day like a path reaches
long and dark and menacing
to where the crag rises
out of the grey mist
and we walk on
a loose path
and cold
stone
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| Too bad formatting doesn't work since I think your shape poem would look good centred too. Very rhythmic and well thought out, the mirror works and I'm tricked into not minding the repetition, since it doesn't feel cumbersome at all. With all the ands in there, it feels a tad contrived, but those are neccessary to the geometry of the work and ;) to punctuate your lists. Good poem, thanks for sharing it. |
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Comment by: DavidHe Online- 2008-05-01 04:50
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| Very special structure!Full of meaning! A pleasure to read! Best wishes |
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Comment by: Valerie - 2008-05-01 04:08
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| Clever! I'm amazed at the structuring, starting out with one word, then increasing to six half way through, and then reversing the text. I had no problem reading this without punctuation. I feel that if the line breaks are thought out, then punctuation isn't necessary. Great work, Robin. |
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