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brush it off
Instilling fear like a monster I retreat to my own head.
Unwilling to hear I wipe the tears that I shed.
Going blind-I find I'd be better off dead.
This world I've created is nothing but a fantasy.
The morals I've debated are nothing but dead to me.
So why, do I continue to defy in my mind all the signs right behind I cannot find, any meaning I want to cry I want to die.
Oh well, I'll just take a deep sigh;
suck it up and brush it off.
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Comment by: - 2006-10-06 13:34
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i don't like this line - maybe shorten it and reword it and it will be better :
So why, do I continue to defy in my mind all the signs right behind I cannot find, any meaning I want to cry I want to die.
...
but I do like your ending. life goes on. you should too.
and your beginning is nice. i like how you talk about the world you've created in your head. |
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Comment by: neamae - 2006-05-09 09:11
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| it is a nice writing ... but the ending comes up, just like this ... to me it felt like i was reading a different poem ... but still a good job |
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Comment by: Riss17 - 2006-03-23 16:54
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| I really like it, but it seems really sad. |
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Comment by: - 2006-03-16 11:04
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| I see that you are still writing dark and beautiful poetry! I really do love your work. |
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Comment by: Carli - 2006-03-11 10:38
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| I really like it! its something I would read when I've had a horrible day... or year. It just makes we want to get up, wash it away, and live again. |
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