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Verona
From a place of old bloodstains
Where love died yet still remains
And souls walk fitfully
Throughout all time,
Comes a story often told
Of two lovers young but bold;
A pair of tempters of a
Fate harsh yet sublime.
Come with me to Verona,
Hear it calling in your soul.
Walk with me in Verona.
Home is where our
Hearts long to go.
In a place where rivals flourished
Of a time and culture Moorish
Where two lives tied
To each other couldn't last,
Burned a love all-consuming,
Fraught by dangers ever-looming,
A struggle of race, politics, and class
Long ago past in old Italy.
Come with me to Verona
Hear it call out to your heart.
Dance with me in Verona
Home is the place from which
We must start.
In the dim of the setting sun
Ghosts walk among us every one,
So lay your eyes upon my face
As all doubts and fears erase
Without a trace
In Verona.
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Comment by: vlm - 2008-06-13 15:12
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Thanx, Al. I love the way different people perceive aspects of my pieces. In terms of meter, my usage of odd, sometimes jagged phrasing is intentional. It has to do with the musical rhythm of my mind. My taste in music leans towards syncopated rhythms in odd meters. I'm a jazz and progressive-rock fan as well as an amateur songwriter. If you keep that in mind you may find a different experience in the flow of the words.
As for the setting of the piece . . . well, how do I reference the romance of Romeo and Juliet in a local setting without bawdlerizing Shakespeare's original intent of time and place?
Thanx again for your thoughtful feedback and acute ear. It's always valued. :) |
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Comment by: alcarty - 2008-06-12 19:14
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| I thought the tempo and fervor set a mood, but I'd rather see you spend your emotional energy with local settings. And keep to a regular stanza, because the rhythm goes off-meter when the line-pace changes. I think your words have more power when the thoughts are closer to home. Maybe it's just my ear. Good job. |
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Comment by: vlm - 2008-05-12 15:13
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| Wow! High praise from both of you. I'm truly humbled and pretty amazed that my words touch others in such a way. I'm also very grateful that you took the time to read and comment. However, I wonder if my allusion to "Romeo and Juliet" was clear or too obvious? |
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| Simply amazing, I felt like going to Verona myself. |
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| Pretty amazing and evocative. I like it. It feels old and new at the same time. Bravo! |
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