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easywriter58
Janyce Van Es
United States, Texas, Pottsboro

My Bookshop
Words: 125
Access: Public
Comments: 13

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Liquid

With jaws wired shut, Eddie hungered for cheeseburgers and fries. Unfortunately, his body had to receive nourishment through a straw.

His brother's trusted, designated driver failed to stay sober quite long enough.

“Could be worse. You could be wearing a feeding tube.”

“Thanks, Mom. I needed that to lift my spirits.”

“That’s why you’re here. You lifted too many spirits.”

“Bachelor party, Mom.

The nurse shuffled in, carrying another IV bag.

“Can’t I do without this? It’s really cumbersome.”

“A tube down your nose would be more uncomfortable. We almost did that.”

“Will you stop weekend binge drinking?”

“Maybe.”

“Your brother didn’t make it to his wedding,” his mother added.

" He died?"

“No, he changed his mind about getting married.”

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My Bookshop

Comments  
karjon Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-05-18 13:15
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Another great ending, Janyce - well done.

Cheers

Karen
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-05-10 13:16
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Another good job! Too close for comfort for lots of people. And, of course another killer ending twist. 'Lifted too many spirits' is clever.
Lilli Comment by: Lilli - 2008-05-09 19:21
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Very good. Clever. Good dialogue. My favorite line is "you lifted too many spirits" - made me laugh out loud.
lucy Comment by: lucy - 2008-05-09 12:25
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Ha! There ya go again, terrific. I wasn't ready for that either. I love the swing of this.
mikepyro Comment by: mikepyro - 2008-05-08 20:47
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great ending and very funny.
a simple dialogue style that remains unbelievably real.
well done.
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