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Keys
She stood at her apartment building's doorway, her thighs squeezing together,hoping for a few minutes grace. Bobbbing with the spasms, she tried each key in the lock. None fit. She pushed at the door, the need going beyond urgency.It rattled in its frame, remaining stubbornly closed.
Legs crossed, agony in her face, she grimmaced, thinking how lucky males were in similar circumstances. If only she could do that! A quick release at the side of the building or behind a bush and it would all be over.
She heard footsteps behind her, and turned to face the newcomer.
He passed her with a friendly smile, walked to the door and pulled…
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Thank you all for your suggestions - some have been incorporated, so if a comment doesn't make sense, maybe that's why.
Glad so many of you enjoyed this take on "keys" (or should it have been "liquid"?).
:-) |
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| It put a smile on my face, I can tell you that. Entertaining, complete, and terse. Very good. Kudos. |
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| OMG!!! I've been there! pushing on a "pull" door and all. Really great stuff. |
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Bobbbing with the spasms,
//haha.. nice.
she (tried) each key in the lock.
//might be a spot for a good verb.
(Desperate now,) she pushed the door.
//bit of an intrusion from the narrator, a judgement. its really fine without it. her actions show desperate nicely.
Minutes passed.
//might be a better way.
thanks man.. fun, vivid story.
T |
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| ha! this one could be "liquid" too. It minds me of an old adage: "To a man, the world is his urinal." |
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