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nonalienabductee
Niccole Segura
Online
United States, Pennsylvania/Ohio

Words: 124
Access: Public
Comments: 13

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Liquid

They only knew the sea, and they meant no harm.  She brought them sweets, and they invited her into the water. 


“I can’t swim,” she said with a smile.


They did not understand.  They had no word for “swim;” they moved, and they saw that she moved too.  They laughed at her joke and pulled her into the water, as they pulled their children into the depths when they were afraid of the blackness.


She turned blue, and they became excited.  They said to each other, “Look how she loves us, so much she wants to become us.”


But her eyes were closed, and her limbs were still.


They watched as she sank, and they did not understand.


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Comments  
karjon Comment by: karjon Online- 2008-05-18 13:54
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I'm guessing mermaids or some other sea nymph type things. Good stuff, Niccole. Unusual, gripping and very atmospheric. Oh, and creepy, obviously.

Cheers

Karen
easywriter58 Comment by: easywriter58 - 2008-05-14 20:44
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A very strange tale. One mentioned Dolphins-another mermaids. Gee-makes one wonder what it is that pulled her in.
lancslass Comment by: lancslass - 2008-05-10 13:34
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I find the tone of this story quite beautiful. The message is sad, lack of understanding, but still the read is dreamy and beautiful. Well done.
krademacher Comment by: krademacher Online- 2008-05-09 19:06
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With the right twists, this could be the beginnings of a unique horror story.

only one very minor nit: "She had brought them sweets" [the word had could be dropped to sharpen the sentence]
lucy Comment by: lucy - 2008-05-09 15:06
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into the deeps - into the depths ?

I was mesmerized by their ineptness not to notice she was uncomfortable,that made me uncomfortable! What a write, thanks for sharing.
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