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Keys (alternate version)
“Have you seen my wallet?”
Celia’s keyboard clickity-clacked. “Is it on the dresser?”
“Hmmm…yep, here it is.”
“Have you seen my brush?”
“Left drawer by the sink.” Clickity clackity.
“Okay…found it.”
Brad brushed his hair, then patted his pockets. “Have you seen my keys?”
Clickity clackity clickity.
Brad yelled louder. “Celia, have you seen my keys?”
“They’re on the hook by the door.” Clickity clackity clickity clackity.
Brad entered the kitchen and grabbed the keys. Celia continued typing, not looking up.
“I’m off to work.” Brad turned toward the door, then stopped. “Oh, I forgot something.”
Clickity clack. Celia stopped and sighed.
Brad kissed her forehead. “Love you, honey. How’s your book coming?”
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Comment by: Nora - 2008-05-07 10:23
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| I really like it, but I stand by the original. This has a mellowness that could certainly be reflective of real life, but it's missing the funny edge of the first. This one is vivid and real, but the other one is a description of a husband's behavior slowly driving a wife insane. |
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| Men sure depend on use for our outstanding memory, don't they? I have to keep up with all my husband's personals. This sounded like my house. Funny how we all have a common thread. |
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| Thanks, Katie. I'm right there with ya! I don't know I anything I write makes any sense with all the distractions. |
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| Aw, this is cute, and I am SOO you in this poem. Good job! |
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